Connecting With People

Connecting with People
by Pastor Rob Campbell



Human groupings can be divided three ways: common kinship, common community, and common interest. In the New Testament, the word for these groupings is oikos (see Acts 5:42; 20:20). An oikos is a social system composed of those connected to each other through common ties and tasks.



Reaching people for Christ and enriching the lives of others are best accomplished through one's oikos. How do you connect with these people? Let me give you four principles that you should find helpful.



First, value people. "You cannot make another person feel worthwhile if you secretly feel that the person is a nobody." My friends, anytime you devalue someone, you question God's creation. Each creation of God is highly valued by God--- let us mirror this value to others.



Second, look for common ground. God gave you and me two ears and one mouth for a reason. Simply put, stop jabbering and listen. Consider the following 101% Principle: Find the 1% you agree with and give it 100% of your effort. You cannot find the 1% if you do not employ the power of listening.



Next, seek first to understand and then to be understood. As believers, we are quick to give "answers" without first understanding the heart of the question. Nobody likes a know it all--- so stop trying to impress! Relax, take a deep breath and rid yourself of the expectation to answer all the questions. Begin with understanding and discovering the gifts and abilities of people. Applaud and affirm them--- who doesn't need a lifelong cheerleader?



Finally, to handle yourself...use your head...to handle others...use your heart. Consider the following:



Whose Point of View?

When the other fellow takes a long time, he's slow.

When I take a long time, I'm thorough. When the other fellow doesn't do it, he's lazy.

But when I don't do it, I'm busy.

When the other fellow does something without being told, he's overstepping his bounds.

But when I do it, that's initiative.

When the other fellow overlooks a rule of etiquette, he's rude.

But when I skip a few rules, I'm original. When the other fellow pleases the boss, he's an apple polisher.

But when I please the boss, that's cooperation.

When the other fellow gets ahead, he's getting the breaks.

But when I manage to get ahead, that's just the reward of hard work.



Relational Christianity is all about connecting with people. Pray to God for the wisdom and ability to build His kingdom by employing these principles in reaching your oikos.