That's My girl

This story of her own son, written by Joanna Weaver in her book, "Having A Mary Spirit" touched me so deeply today. God spoke to me through this story and answered a burning question and gave me some much needed confirmation. He has asked me to do something for Him. Something difficult for me. Something way, way out of my comfort zone. Our of fear, I've been telling myself it would be too hard, too weird, too awkward, but God keeps replying: "Obey, I am faithful and you can do ALL things through me!" I hope you will be encouraged by this story as much as I am:

"When baby Joshua joined our family nearly four years ago, he brought more joy than I ever thought possible. Which is saying a lot. At forty years of age and with two nearly grown teenagers, I never expected to be shopping for cribs and colleges at the same time. (Although a friend did point out it could be worse - I could have been shopping for diapers and Depends.)

But more than joy, Joshua brought me a new understanding of God's love that I'd never considered before.

After Josh was born a month early, the doctors immediately knew something wasn't quite right. Eliminating more serious conditions, they diagnosed him with hypotonia. Low muscle tone. Rather than the tight little bundle of baby I was used to holding, Joshua felt more like a rag doll, loose and limp in my arms. He was slow to nurse, slow to roll over, slow to sit up, slow to do many things. Rather than doing movements natural for most babies, Josh's muscles had to be taught, even awakened, through physical therapy. At three-and-a-half years of age, he still has delays in motor skills as well as speech development.

But do you know what? It doesn't matter. I don't bother comparing Josh to other kids because Josh isn't like other kids. Josh is Josh. I don't keep a list of things babies should do at one or two or three years of age. It's all immaterial. Josh will do it when Josh can. And we'll do - and are doing - everything possible to help him. After being an uptight mom the first time around, constantly comparing to see how my kids measured up to others their age, I can't tell you how freeing this has been.

In some ways, these four years with Josh have been the most enjoyable years of my life. Why? Because we celebrate everything! Every little advance is met with great joy and applause. And I've recently realized that loving Josh has taught me a wonderful lesson about how God loves me.

That realization came three years ago in Gold Beach, Oregon. My sister Linda, had some along to watch Josh while I spoke at a women's retreat. When I went back to the hotel room after the first evening session, Linda was so excited.

"You won't believe what Joshua did!"she said dragging me to where he sat playing with some toys. That in itself was a miracle, for Josh had only recently mastered the art of sitting up. But my sister had something new to show me. "Watch this!" Linda cleared the space around him, then took his favorite toy and placed it in front of him, just out of reach. Josh looked at her, then at me. Then with a little smile, he bent forward and stretched out nearly flat to grab the toy that rested beyond his toes. I was amazed. He'd never done that before. But that was only the beginning. There was more to come.

Little by little, grunting and groaning, my sweet boy slowly worked his hands back toward his body. Beads of perspiration broke out on his forehead as he, still grasping the toy, worked himself back into a sitting position. The whole process took at least thirty seconds, ten times the amount of time another child would have required. But rather than being disappointed, Linda and I whooped and hollered and cried our eyes out.

"Woohoo! That's my boy!" I said, hugging Josh. It was amazing. It was wonderful. It was a milestone, a moment of pure joy I'll never forget. And with it came a revelation from the Lord that has changed my life. As I lay in bed that night still rejoicing over Joshua's accomplishment, I felt God whisper to my spirit"

"That's how I feel, you know.
"What do you mean, Lord?" I asked.
"The joy you feel watching Joshua do something you know is difficult - that's how I feel when I see you stretch beyond what you've tried before. When you believe Me for something that seems impossible...trust Me in the midst of difficulties...do what I ask even though you don't feel able...that's how I feel."

My heart swelled with the thought and caught in my throat. That I could bring that much joy to the Lord had never occurred to me.

With the sounds of waves outside echoing the waves of gratitude in my heart, I wept quietly, mouthing words of praise to the One who knew me so intimately and yet loved me so completely.

It wasn't until I shared the thought with the women the next morning that a fuller revelation of the truth finally hit me. The women nodded and smiled through the story, and many even wept. But I suddenly realized that they could never understand the immensity of it all. Neither could Linda. Not really. No one could.

Why? Because Joshua belongs to me. He BELONGS to me.

That's why God rejoices over our every little step. That's why He tirelessly spends time exercising our faith and stretching us in order to expand our limits. That's why, when we fall, He helps us, picks us up, and encourages us to try again.

He doesn't compare us to anyone else. He doesn't have a list of what Christians should be and do at certain phases of their Christian walk. He accepts us individually and works with us where we are. Yet He constantly challenges us to go beyond what we are. And He throws a great big party whenever we reach a milestone or make a spiritual breakthrough.

Why? Because we belong to Him. We BELONG to Him.

"Woohoo! That's My girl!" He says.

"Did you see that?" He asks, turning to the angels and pointing to earth. Pointing to you and to me.

"That's My girl."